Have you ever set a goal, felt motivated at first, and then a few weeks later found yourself right back where you started? You’re not alone! The reason many of us struggle to change is that we focus on what we want to achieve rather than who we want to become.
The real key to transformation isn’t just setting goals—it’s changing your identity through small, consistent habits. Even more importantly, it’s about building a relationship of trust with yourself so you can follow through on what matters most.
Why Most People Struggle with Habits
James Clear, in Atomic Habits, explains that change happens on three levels:
- Outcomes – Focusing on what you get (losing weight, homeschooling more consistently, being more patient).
- Processes – Focusing on what you do (exercising, setting a homeschool routine, practicing patience).
- Identity – Focusing on what you believe (becoming a healthy person, being a consistent homeschool mom, seeing yourself as a patient person).
Most people start with outcomes—but lasting change happens when you start with identity.
Your Habits Shape Your Identity
Every action you take is a vote for the person you are becoming.
- Want to become a patient homeschool mom? Practice one deep breath before reacting.
- Want to become more organized? Start with putting things away after school time.
- Want to become a reader? Read one page before bed.
Each time you follow through, you send yourself a powerful message: I am the kind of person who does this.
The Power of Keeping Promises to Yourself
One of the biggest barriers to success is identity conflict—when your goals don’t align with what you believe about yourself. If you tell yourself, “I’m just not a morning person” or “I always quit things”, your brain will work hard to prove that belief true.
But when you set small, winnable goals—like reading for two minutes, walking for five minutes, or praying for one minute—you begin proving to yourself that you follow through on your commitments.
This builds self-trust. And when you trust yourself, everything changes.
Faith, Identity, and Small Wins
Scripture teaches us that small, consistent efforts have a big impact:
- “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Alma 37:6)
- “For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves.” (D&C 58:28)
- David O. McKay often quoted this: “Sow a thought, reap an act; Sow an act, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap an eternal destiny.”
The daily choices we make shape who we are becoming—not just in this life, but for eternity.
How to Start Building Self-Trust Today
Decide Who You Want to Become
What kind of homeschool mom do you want to be?
What kind of disciple of Christ do you want to be?
Start With a Small, Unbreakable Commitment
Choose something so small you can’t fail. Remember the principle of floors from a previous blog?
Example: Instead of “I will wake up at 5 AM”, try “I will wake up 5 minutes earlier than usual.”
Keep Promises to Yourself (No Matter How Small)
Each time you follow through, you reinforce your identity.
Watch the Ripple Effect in Your Life
Self-trust leads to confidence, resilience, and the ability to take on bigger challenges.
When you trust yourself, your kids learn to trust you too.
Final Thought: Who Are You Becoming?
At the end of the day, habits aren’t just about what you do—they’re about who you are becoming. Every small choice shapes your identity and future.
