Feeling Drained and Unmotivated?
You sit down to homeschool, but your kids are restless, distracted, and unmotivated. You grab your phone for a quick break, but instead of feeling refreshed, you feel more exhausted. Why does everything feel harder than it should? The answer might not be homeschooling itself—it might be your brain’s dopamine balance.
The Dopamine Trap: Why More Pleasure Makes Us Less Happy
How Dopamine Works
Dopamine is the brain’s motivation and pleasure chemical. It rewards us for seeking things we enjoy—like food, entertainment, and social connection. But too much dopamine from quick, easy pleasures (social media, sugar, screens) causes our brain to lower its natural dopamine levels. Over time, this leads to less motivation, more anxiety, and an overall feeling of emptiness.
The Gospel Perspective: Satan’s Counterfeit Joy
Satan offers quick pleasure without lasting joy. 2 Nephi 2:11 says, “There must needs be opposition in all things.” Without effort, we can’t experience real joy. Moses 4:1–4 talks about how Satan planned to remove struggle and effort. He wanted an easy path with no agency, but God’s plan requires growth through hard things. Are we, or our kids, reaching for quick pleasures at the cost of true fulfillment?
Applying Dopamine Principles in Your Homeschool
1. Reduce Dopamine Overload in Learning
Too much screen time, sugar and entertainment dulls motivation for learning.
- Morning Detox: Start the day without screens. Instead, begin with prayer, scripture study, or nature time.
- Simplify Rewards: Instead of snacks or screen time as motivation, use intrinsic rewards—like appreciation, accomplishment, or family connection.
- Encourage Boredom: Reduce overstimulation and allow time for creative, independent play. If your child complains about being bored, respond with, “That’s great! What will you create?”
2. Teach Kids the Value of Delayed Gratification
The ability to wait for a reward builds patience, discipline, and long-term happiness.
- Use the “First Work, Then Play” Rule: Schoolwork first, then free time.
- Set timed work sessions (e.g., 30 minutes of focus before a short break).
- Make family projects long-term: Grow a garden, build a puzzle over weeks, or save for something instead of buying instantly. For example, if your child wants a new toy, have them earn it over time instead of getting it immediately.
3. Try a Mini Dopamine Fast for Your Kids
Taking breaks from overstimulation resets the brain’s natural reward system.
- Try a “Tech-Free Tuesday” or “Screen-Free Morning” where kids engage in hands-on learning.
- Remove processed sugar for a day and focus on whole foods.
- Encourage quiet time for prayer, journaling, or unstructured play.
- Instead of an afternoon of video games, go outside, bake bread, or do a hands-on science experiment.
4. Encourage Hard Work and Effort-Based Rewards
Kids need to see that effort, not just instant results, leads to success.
- Praise effort over outcome—“I love how hard you worked on that!” Be as specific as possible!
- Encourage growth mindset phrases like, “This is tough, but you’re learning!”
Example: If your child is struggling with writing, help them see progress over time rather than focusing on immediate perfection.
5. Make Discomfort a Normal and Positive Part of Learning
Kids (and adults) learn best when they push through challenges.
- Reframe “hard things” as opportunities to grow.
- Share stories of successful people who faced struggles before succeeding.
- Model pushing through hard things yourself—let your kids see you learning a new skill or doing something challenging.
Example: If your child says, “I can’t do this,” respond with:
- “Not yet! Keep trying.”
- “What’s one step you can do right now?”
- “Let’s pray and ask for help.”
6. Teach Kids About Dopamine & Help Them Self-Regulate
When kids understand how dopamine works, they can make better choices.
- Teach them about dopamine! (“Our brains love rewards, but too much makes it harder to enjoy simple things.”)
- Help them notice how they feel after too much screen time or sugar.
- Encourage them to create their own self-limits on entertainment.
Ask, “How do you feel after too much YouTube? How do you feel after playing outside?” Help them see the difference!
The Gospel Perspective: Christ’s Example of True Joy
Why Pain Can Be Good
Short-term pain leads to long-term growth, deeper relationships, and more joy.
Examples:
- Setting boundaries with our kids.
- Admitting a mistake and apologizing.
- Enforcing a screen time limit despite pushback.
The Gospel Perspective: Christ Embraced Pain for Our Joy
Christ’s Atonement is the ultimate example of purposeful pain. John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” President Russell M. Nelson reminded us of this in his talk “Joy and Spiritual Survival from the October 2016 General Conference. “As in all things, Jesus Christ is our ultimate exemplar, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.”…And what was the joy that was set before Him? Surely it included the joy of cleansing, healing, and strengthening us; the joy of paying for the sins of all who would repent; the joy of making it possible for you and me to return home—clean and worthy—to live with our Heavenly Parents and families.” When we endure small pains for the sake of love, growth, and faith, we follow His example.
Application: What small discomforts can we embrace today that will bring lasting joy?
Finding True Joy Beyond Dopamine
Dopamine fades—but joy comes from deep, meaningful engagement. True happiness isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about finding purpose. 2 Nephi 2:25 says “Men are, that they might have joy.”Galatians 5:22–23 says the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, and self-control. Are we chasing dopamine highs or deep spiritual fulfillment?
Conclusion & Call to Action
- What’s one way you can embrace discomfort for growth this week?
- What’s one dopamine-driven habit you can let go of to focus on true joy?
- Pray about it—ask God what distractions you need to remove to fully embrace the joy He has for you.
Share Your Thoughts!
Have you noticed the impact of dopamine-driven habits in your life? Have you tried a “dopamine fast”? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!
Source:
Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke
*This book offers valuable scientific insights but includes graphic details about addiction that in my opinion are unnecessary, especially for sensitive readers. If you choose to read or listen, be aware of this aspect. I personally skipped over these sections.
