As a certified life coach, one of the most transformative tools I use in my work with homeschool moms is Brooke Castillo’s CTFAR model. This simple yet powerful framework helps us understand how our thoughts influence our emotions, actions, and results. It’s been a game-changer for my clients and my own homeschool journey. Let me walk you through how this model works and how you can apply it to common homeschool challenges.
What Is the CTFAR Model?
The CTFAR model stands for:
Circumstances: Neutral facts that everyone would agree on—they’re observable and out of our control.
Thoughts: The sentences we think about the circumstances.
Feelings: Emotions generated by our thoughts.
Actions: What we do (or don’t do) based on our feelings.
Results: The outcome of our actions, which always ties back to our thoughts.
This model has been pivotal in helping homeschool moms gain clarity and confidence.
Applying the CTFAR Model to Homeschooling
Let’s take a common homeschool scenario and work through the model:
Scenario: Your child refuses to do math.
Circumstance: Your child says, “I hate math,” and pushes the workbook away.
*(Notice this is neutral and factual—no opinions or emotions added.)
Thought: “I must be failing as a homeschool mom.”
*This thought creates a story about the circumstance.
Feeling: Guilt and frustration.
*Your thought generates these emotions.
Action: You either lash out at your child, feel paralyzed, and give up on the lesson, or spend hours researching new curriculums out of desperation.
Result: You reinforce the belief that you’re failing because the day ends in frustration and no progress is made.
A Better Way to Use the CTFAR Model
What if we shifted the thought? Here’s how the model might look with intentional thought work:
Circumstance: Your child says, “I hate math,” and pushes the workbook away. (Still neutral.)
Thought: “This is an opportunity to teach my child resilience and problem-solving.”
Feeling: Calm and curious.
Action: You take a breath, validate your child’s feelings, and explore creative solutions—like breaking the lesson into smaller steps or turning it into a game.
Result: You model emotional resilience and create a more positive learning experience for both you and your child.
Why This Matters for Homeschool Moms
Many homeschool moms feel overwhelmed by the daily challenges of teaching their children. The CTFAR model provides a clear, actionable way to step out of negative thought spirals and into a place of intentionality. By focusing on what we can control—our thoughts—we can create a ripple effect that transforms our emotions, actions, and ultimately our homeschool environment.
How to Practice the CTFAR Model
- Identify the Circumstance: Write down the bare facts of what’s happening without adding opinions.
- Examine Your Thoughts: Ask yourself, “What am I making this mean?”
- Notice Your Feelings: How does this thought make you feel?
- Reflect on Your Actions: What do you do (or not do) when you feel this way?
- Analyze Your Results: Is this thought serving you and your homeschool? If not, choose a thought that aligns with the results you want.
Final Encouragement
The beauty of the CTFAR model is that it’s a tool you can use in any homeschool situation. Whether you’re navigating a child’s resistance to lessons, managing your own doubts, or balancing homeschooling with other responsibilities, this framework can help you find clarity and solutions. By mastering your thoughts, you’ll not only transform your homeschool but also experience the joy and peace that come from trusting yourself and the process.
