Ever told yourself to just be grateful—even when you felt like crying in the middle of a math meltdown?
Or reminded your child to choose joy—when they were clearly overwhelmed and frustrated?
As Latter-day Saint homeschool moms, we often want to bring the light of Christ into our homes. But in our efforts to stay upbeat and faithful, we can accidentally shut down the very emotions that need the most compassion.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the pressure to stay cheerful no matter what. It sounds like:
- “At least you get to homeschool.”
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “You just need to have more faith.”
These phrases might sound encouraging, but when they’re used to dismiss real pain or struggle, they can leave us (and our kids) feeling unseen, alone, and ashamed.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing takes it a step further—it uses faith to avoid hard emotions. It says:
- “You wouldn’t feel this way if you trusted God more.”
- “You just need to pray and move on.”
- “The Savior already suffered for you, so don’t dwell on it.”
Instead of helping us heal, these responses can shame us into silence.
But here’s the truth:
Jesus didn’t bypass pain—He entered it.
He wept. He groaned. He knelt in the Garden and sweat blood.
He didn’t deny the pain—He walked through it, so He could walk with us in ours.
So What’s the Alternative?
It’s not pretending everything’s fine.
It’s not stuffing down your emotions and calling it faith.
It’s something deeper.
Spiritually grounded optimism says:
- “This is hard—and God is with me in it.”
- “I’m struggling—and that doesn’t mean I’m failing.”
- “I believe the Lord can bring beauty from this—even if I can’t see how yet.”
This kind of hope creates space for both sorrow and joy. It allows us to be faithful and real—and that’s exactly what our children need to see.
Let’s trade fake smiles for real peace.
Let’s homeschool with honesty, hope, and the Savior by our side.
Want to Go Deeper?
In this week’s podcast episode, we unpack:
- The difference between toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, and true gospel-centered optimism
- Why emotional honesty is part of discipleship
- How to teach your kids to process feelings with faith
- Practical tools for hard homeschool days