“Sometimes all it takes is one person who doesn’t give up on you.”
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a defiant child and wondered: How do I even begin to reach them? Beneath the eye rolls, shutdowns, or outbursts—what’s really going on?
This week I watched Brave the Dark by Angel Studios. It follows Nate Williams, a homeless and angry teen, and the one teacher who refuses to give up on him. As the story unfolded, I kept thinking: This isn’t just about teachers. This is for mentors, parents, and homeschoolers, too.
And research backs that up. Adolescents with a “natural mentor”—an unpaid, non-parent adult—are significantly more likely to graduate, pursue college, and report higher life satisfaction than peers without one.¹
Here are eight powerful lessons the film dramatizes, paired with doable ways to weave them into your own family or classroom.
1. See Past the Surface
Mr. Deen looks past Nate’s truancy and sarcasm—and instead notices a quiet love of photography.
Try this: When your child is acting out, pause and ask: What might this behavior be telling me? Look for the need behind the action. Trust that your child wants to do well but may need help getting there. Reframe the challenge: What strength might be buried beneath this struggle?
2. Speak to Who They Can Become
Mr. Deen’s belief becomes Nate’s ladder out of darkness. He sees a good kid with untapped potential.
Try this: Co-write a five-year “future snapshot” with your child and post it near their workspace. Speak potential aloud every day: “I see you becoming someone who…” Kids often borrow our vision until their own takes root.
3. Build Safety Before Skills
Before asking Nate to return to school, Deen offers hot food, a spare room, and a steady presence.
“No significant learning can occur without a significant relationship.” —James P. Comer2
Try this: Open your homeschool day with connection. Tell your child something you appreciate about them. Share something they can relate with, or give them a quick back rub. These simple rituals shift the brain from survive to learn.
4. Correct with Dignity
Deen is firm but gentle, living Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Try this: Use “I see / I feel / I need” statements: “I see the essay is blank. I feel concerned. I need to understand what’s blocking you.” Correct the action—not the child’s worth.
5. Offer Purposeful Work, Not Busywork
Stage-tech and camera duties give Nate real responsibility that matters to the production.
“The child seeks for independence by means of work; an independence of body and mind.” —Maria Montessori3
Try this: Trade drill sheets for projects with purpose. Let your child research something meaningful, create something useful, or serve someone else. Purpose fuels motivation.
6. Name the Shadows, Then Shine Light
Deen listens to Nate’s trauma and waits by his hospital bed, and then encouraging hime to speak honestly about the trauma he experienced as a child, so healing can begin.
“Broken minds can be healed… Friends can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland4
Try this:
- Take a walk with your child and ask, “What felt heavy this week?”
- Keep a Feelings Wheel handy. When conflict arises, name the emotion before solving the problem.
- Invite your child to write-and-release a letter about a fear or regret. Pray over it together, then shred or burn it as a symbol of letting go.
Naming pain takes courage. Being a safe, nonjudgmental witness to it is transformative.
7. One Unpaid Adult Can Tip the Scale
Studies show a single steadfast mentor can reroute a life—especially for youth at risk.1 Mr. Deen proves it.
Try this: Be that adult. And look for a micro-ally—a neighbor, coach, librarian, or church friend—who can echo your belief in your child or another child that you mentor. A web of support weaves resilience.
8. Celebrate Trajectory, Not Perfection
Nate stumbles, runs away, and eventually returns. His journey isn’t linear, but Deen keeps showing up.
Try this: Keep a visible timeline of progress—books finished, habits formed, emotions managed. When discouragement hits, show your child how far they’ve already come.
Quick Challenge for the Week
Choose one child whose surface behavior wears you out.
- List three strengths that might be hiding underneath that behavior.
- Invite them to use one of those strengths to bless someone else.
- Speak potential aloud each day: “I see you becoming someone who…”
Footnotes:
- Jean E. Rhodes et al., “Natural Mentoring and Young-Adult Outcomes,” American Journal of Community Psychology, 1999; Hagler & Rhodes, 2020 meta-analysis.
- James P. Comer, M.D., Yale Child Study Center; quoted in Rita Pierson’s TED Talk “Every Kid Needs a Champion,” 2013.
- Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind, 1949, ch. 7.
- Jeffrey R. Holland, “Like a Broken Vessel,” October 2013 General Conference.
*Note: Brave the Dark has mature themes and may not be suitable for younger viewers.
