How the CTFAR Model Can Help You Stop Spinning in Overwhelm and Start Homeschooling with Peace
Do you ever feel like you’re doing all the things—the curriculum, the routines, the planning—and still feel like you’re barely hanging on?
Maybe you’re constantly reacting to your kids, doubting your decisions, or comparing yourself to every other “perfect homeschool mom” on Instagram. I get it. I’ve been there too.
There was a time when I was emotionally exhausted and stuck in a circumstance I couldn’t change. I had prayed. I had fasted. I was doing everything I knew to do—but I still felt overwhelmed and powerless.
That’s when I was introduced to a tool called the CTFAR Model. And it changed everything.
What Is the CTFAR Model?
CTFAR is a simple 5-part framework created by Brooke Castillo that shows how your thoughts shape your feelings, which drive your actions, and ultimately create the results you experience in your life.
It stands for:
Circumstance (a neutral fact)
Thought (your interpretation or belief about it)
Feeling (the emotion created by that thought)
Action (what you do or don’t do from that feeling)
Result (the outcome you create)
Here’s the big idea:
Your thoughts—not your circumstances—are creating your experience.
This is why two homeschool moms can face the same challenge and have completely different outcomes—because their thinking is different.
Common Homeschool Struggles Through the Lens of the Model
Let’s look at a few examples:
Scenario 1: “My child rushes through their work.”
CIRCUMSTANCE:
Your 10-year-old finishes a full math lesson in 6 minutes, skips problems, and gets most of them wrong.
DEFAULT MODEL:
T: “She’s lazy and just wants to be done.”
F: Frustrated
A: Criticize her effort, make her redo it with a bad attitude, lecture her on responsibility
R: She dreads math even more and rushes again next time
SHIFTED MODEL:
T: “She may not know how to slow down and do it carefully yet.”
F: Compassionate
A: Teach her how to check her work, sit beside her, model slowing down
R: She gains tools for accuracy and begins to value doing things well
When you come from curiosity, you become a teacher—not a taskmaster.
Scenario 2: “Our routine always gets derailed.”
CIRCUMSTANCE:
You planned to start school at 9:00 AM, but your toddler spills cereal and your teen doesn’t come downstairs until 9:20.
DEFAULT MODEL:
T: “I can’t ever get this right. Something always messes up our day.”
F: Defeated
A: Start the day late, flustered, snappy with your kids
R: Everyone feels tense, the rest of the day is reactive and chaotic
SHIFTED MODEL:
T: “Unexpected moments are part of the plan—not a problem.”
F: Flexible
A: Reset calmly, make a quick adjustment, invite kids to refocus with you
R: Kids learn to adapt with grace—and so do you
Order doesn’t require perfection—it starts with presence.
Scenario 3: “My child keeps interrupting during read-alouds.”
CIRCUMSTANCE:
Your 6-year-old blurts out questions, interrupts siblings, and gets out of their seat during story time.
DEFAULT MODEL:
T: “He’s being disrespectful and ruining the experience for everyone.”
F: Embarrassed, angry
A: Stop reading, scold him, send him to his room
R: He feels disconnected from learning, others feel tension
SHIFTED MODEL:
T: “He’s still learning how to engage during group time.”
F: Patient
A: Set clear expectations before reading, give him a small job (like page-turning), teach turn-taking
R: He feels included, learns boundaries, and everyone gets more from the story
Interruptions can become opportunities to teach—not triggers for shame.
How to Use the Model in Your Daily Life
You can apply the CTFAR Model in real time throughout your homeschool day. Here’s how:
- Name the circumstance – Stick to just the facts.
- Identify the thought – What are you telling yourself about it?
- Notice the feeling – What emotion does that thought produce?
- Observe your actions – What do you do or avoid doing from that emotion?
- Look at the result – What are you creating?
Then ask yourself: Is this thought helpful? Is it aligned with gospel truth? Is there a better thought I could choose?
The Gospel + the Model = True Power
Romans 12:2 teaches, “Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
And 2 Corinthians 10:5 reminds us to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”
The CTFAR model is more than a mindset tool—it’s a way to practice agency and invite the Spirit into our thoughts. As you learn to watch your mind with curiosity (not judgment), you’ll begin to feel more empowered, more peaceful, and more present in your homeschool.
Start Here
If your homeschool feels heavy or chaotic, start by noticing your thoughts. That awareness alone is powerful. And if you want help applying this work to your own life, I’d love to walk with you.
Book a free 30-minute consultation. Together we’ll explore what’s keeping you stuck and how to begin shifting your homeschool from reactive to intentional, from stressed to spirit-led.
Remember:
You are not stuck.
You are not failing.
You are a daughter of God, equipped with agency and divine support.
Let’s build a joyful homeschool—one thought at a time.
