In parenting, connection matters more than correction.
When children feel truly seen, heard, and understood, trust grows.
Today, let’s explore five powerful tools that can transform your relationship with your child.
These tools come from The Mentor’s Handbook by Aneladee Milne but are found in many great parenting and mentoring approaches.
1. Honoring: Seeing Your Child’s Experience as Valid
Honoring means truly seeing your child—not as an inconvenience or a project to fix but as a divine being with real thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Ask yourself:
- Do I give my child my full attention?
- Or am I rushing through conversations, distracted by my to-do list?
Pause. Slow down. Acknowledge their feelings before offering solutions.
2. Validating/Affirming: Helping Your Child Feel Seen & Heard
Validation means acknowledging your child’s feelings as real—even if you don’t agree.
Validation is not the same as agreement.
It simply tells your child: “I see you. Your emotions make sense.”
3. Relating: Finding Common Ground
Relating builds bridges between your experiences and your child’s emotions.
But remember: It’s not about making the conversation about you. Keep the focus on them.
4. Reflective Listening: Helping Kids Feel Truly Understood
Reflective listening means repeating what your child said in your own words.
It helps them feel truly heard.
If unsure, ask:
- “So what I hear you saying is…”
- “Did I get that right?”
5. Asking the Right Questions: Encouraging Problem-Solving
Instead of telling kids what to do, ask open-ended questions to help them process their emotions.
When we let go of our agenda, we allow space for inspiration.
Your Challenge This Week
Pick one of these tools to focus on with your child.
- Maybe it’s honoring their feelings more.
- Maybe it’s asking more open-ended questions instead of giving quick answers.
Small, intentional shifts can make a huge difference.
