Over the years, my husband and I have diligently tried to keep up with regular interviews with our children. It’s been a journey of consistency—sometimes waxing, sometimes waning.
But I’ve noticed a pattern.
When things get rocky with one of my kids, it’s usually when we haven’t been connecting in these regular conversations. Through these interviews, I’ve learned things I wouldn’t have known otherwise—what excites them, what they need, and where I can support them. These interviews have built a foundation of trust, giving us private time to really listen to each other.
Why Interview?
- Connection: Interviews allow kids to feel truly seen and heard. They know they’re a priority.
- Proactive Support: Discover struggles before they grow overwhelming. Plan and solve together.
- Dreams & Goals: Hear their hopes, talk about the future, and help them visualize their path.
- Self-Awareness: Encourage them to process emotions, reflect, and take accountability.
How to Have Effective Interviews
- Be Consistent: Pick a regular time, like Sundays, to create a habit. You can do interviews weekly or monthly–depending on your bandwidth and the number of children you have.
- Make it Private: Choose a quiet spot, free of distractions.
- Give Your Full Attention: Put phones away, make eye contact, and listen actively.
- Start Positive: We always love to begin with exciting news, like parenting expert, Nicholeen Peck recommends.
- Open-Ended Questions: Invite them to share, such as “What’s going well for you?” or “What do you hope to accomplish?” Avoid WHY questions which lead to defensiveness.
Long-Term Benefits
Regular interviews foster a strong family culture and lifelong connection. Kids who feel secure in these relationships grow up more resilient, independent, and confident. They also develop essential skills like goal-setting, self-reflection, and a growth mindset.
Invitation
Try it this week. Start with one simple question, and see where it leads.
I invite you to connect with your kids and create something beautiful.
Recommended Resources
Books:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Parenting: A House United by Nicholeen Peck
Websites:
teachingselfgovernment.com
